so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
