Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
