i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Randomize
