It's like God shit irony all over that family
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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