that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
