At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize