K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
