it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
