Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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