I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize