A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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