He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
