I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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