with your own penis?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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