Yo dont text me then not text me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
