do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize