): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
