i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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