forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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