I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
