you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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