is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Boobs speak an international language.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
