i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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