My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
