my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
