You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I understand Curling. That high.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
