There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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