I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
