Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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