Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
