Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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