Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize