this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
