So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
