im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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