he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
