Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And then he peed in my hair
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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