Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
