We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize