Do you still have your period?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
