When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
