It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
