That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Holy sore nipples Batman
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
