4 words: hood of his car
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
