having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
