a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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