I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I party with great urgency now.
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