just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize