handjob tips. give me some.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
