first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
