I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
