Redeem this text for a blowjob
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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