Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
