I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
