I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
