how can u be prego again
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize