ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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