hell yes lets make some ravioli
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Two words: nipple clamps
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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