Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize