That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
