You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
