I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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