Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
