Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
