like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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