hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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