my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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