we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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