I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
