im about as happy as oj after his trial
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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